To My Daughter-in-law

October 3, 2015

The time is drawing near for my son to be handed to you for a lifetime. But before I hand him over I have a letter to share with you. This letter can't possibly cover everything, but hopefully it will give you some direction on what kind of man my son has grown into.

First, I want you to know that I love you. I love you because you love my son with all of your heart. And I know my son will return that love whole heatedly.
As a mother, my son will always be mine. But you will be taking over in many ways.
You will be the one to hold his hand,
kiss him goodnight,
comfort him when he is scared,
share his dreams,
his beliefs, which leads me to tell you that I have raised him a true believer. This is the story:

When he was 18 years old I asked him if I did a good job teaching him religion.
His response, "FISSTTT! NO!"
I wanted to fall to the floor in tears. I was faithful to committing to church every Sunday while he was growing up. Where did I fail? But he was quick to explain.
"Mom, you can't teach someone religion. Religion is a topic that each individual has to find on their own. But I can tell you that you did a good job at teaching me to believe".
Share his sincere thoughts,
and your eyes will be his peace,
your heart his home.

As a woman you need to understand your worth, and respect yourself. And I hope you respect others in that same way. You should never be afraid to share your voice. But share that voice to speak life, not hurtful things. I hope you respect my son the same way you respect yourself.
He is his own man (a phase of gangster clothes in Jr. High), and I am not to blame for his flaws. He has his own quirks, and I'm sure as you walk through life together you will find those out. Give him the space he needs to be his own person, just as I have raised him to do the same for you.

He will not complete you.
You will not complete him.
Only God can do that.

I only hope that you two will be better together than you are on your own.

The time is drawing near where I will trust you fully with his heart, just as you will trust him with yours. I have raised him to truly understand the value of a woman's heart. And I trust you will never take advantage of that.
I have raised him to be strong, yet vulnerable.
Brave, but humble.
Courageous, but fearless enough to ask for help.

I know he fully understands his role as a man, and a husband. He proves his integrity, honor, humility, faith, and humor everyday. Humor that will leave people in stitches for days.....

He is quick to make friends. And he understands the value of friendship.
He understands independence because I have stood in that role myself as he was growing up.
But I hope he remembers that you were once someone's daughter, and that you belong to God and your parents first.

I hope as the two of you start your life as one, you never forget how that life was built.
I may have been a little late with this lesson, but I hope I have taught him to want you, NOT need you.
Stand strong together. Be strong together.

This great big world will sometimes be overloaded with deafening noises, so much to where you cannot hear each other. But I hope your love and strength over-power those noises. Never forget why you stood there and vowed to each other. Never forget what you have built.

As his mother I have planted seeds of love in my son's heart. They will continue to grow if they are nourished in such way that will bind you together as husband and wife.

It is now time for me to hand my son over to you. Not expecting you to be his mother. Because I have taught him how to take care of himself, and he knows how to cook, clean, and do laundry. But I hand you him as the child I have raised into the man you are building a life with. Cherish each other in such a way that life will never be broken. Remember your vows. Remember your love for each other. Remember the reasons for your commitments.

I love you both with all of my heart.

Attractions

For some reason today I was pulled here to write.

I got up early this morning while it was still dark, made my wonderful coffee (my best friend), lit a candle in the middle of the table (my laptop is positioned at one end), sat down in front of a great big picture window, and as the sun came up my heart just filled with warmth.

My thoughts, and you know how crazy my thoughts can sometimes be, went to how blessed I am in this wonderful relationship that I have finally found. I am finally at peace, with passion, with commitment, with security, with faithfulness.....

What if things in my life had gone differently? I do believe that everything I went through lead me right straight to Johnie.
Wouldn't it be great if we could just stop life and grow?
What I mean by that is, as we get older we see and feel things more differently. We become a stronger person. We feel more passion, more freedom, more self-worth, more warmth, more gentleness, and the list goes on.....
I would have enjoyed my younger years if I could have stopped to grow. If I could have stopped to see, hear, and feel in my 20's what I see, hear, and feel in my 40's life could have been great. But I would have missed out on my children, the relationships that caused heartache (made me stronger), education, career moves, and spiritual moments. If my life would have stopped to get me where I am today I wouldn't have grown into the person I am. My past life created me to be the woman that Johnie has been longing for.

My growth is the attraction that Johnie sees, that pulls me to him every single day. I have improved with my growth, I have become a better partner, and although I am far from perfect, I know how to correct and focus. Keeping a relationship strong is hard work. But it can be enjoyable work. Just apply creativity and all is wonderful.

Here are 5 attractions from me that Johnie accepts with a full heart:
(And I promise playing pool naked will not be on this list. Strip 9-ball was one of our creative moments.)

1. I can truly be myself. I am completely different than any other woman Johnie has had in his life. I do not resort to the same old tactics in past relationships. I do not cater to his every whim. Although I do enjoy pampering him sometimes.

2. One thing I am still working hard at is knocking out the "yes-girl". When Johnie asks me a question like, "Where do you want to go for dinner?", he is looking for an answer. Along with most men, "I don't care", or "It's up to you." doesn't fly.
I give my honest opinion when he asks me what I think on certain subjects like, career moves, financial decisions, etc.... I am up-front and honest with him. I do not color my opinion by agreeing with his. Johnie is a self-confident person and he expects the same out of me.

3. I embrace my independence. WHOA!!! Doesn't independence in a woman scare men away? Bottom line: Independence in a woman is attractive to a man who values a woman for who she is, and not just for what she can provide for him. Johnie wants a relationship to be a true partnership. He wants and needs a true partner. I will be one. That means we can bounce ideas, dreams, and plans off of one another to merge into the life that we will make together.

4. My confidence will act as an aphrodisiac. Johnie has a certain confidence about him that does not come off as being cocky. So why wouldn't he want the same from me? Johnie doesn't want to be weighed down with my nagging of insecurities. I am currently unemployed, feeling worthless, and gaining weight. Johnie fell in love with the inner person that I carry. If I complain about my insecurities that will surly be a turn off. Johnie chose ME!

5. It is said that men choose women that make them love themselves more. Johnie has qualities that I truly adore. I don't lie! I congratulate him on his accomplishments, I tell him that my favorite time of the day is laying in his arms, I tell him how much I love his touch, his gentleness, and how much I love the way he loves me.

If you are the woman that is delivering these attractions to your man, you will have a long lasting, special, unconditional love relationship. It takes two! A relationship cannot be weak with insecurities and only be based around a woman. A woman has to have the strength and confidence to apply what a man is longing for too.

Nicknames (pet names): They are healthy......

I love the way Johnie calls me "Lucy, Lucies, hey Lucy". Although it is another woman's name, just the way it comes out of Johnie's mouth is an attraction for me. And I'm sure greeting him at the door every day with, "Hi Honey" (said very sweetly) along with a huge hug is just as much of an attraction for him.

Men are not as complicated as women make them out to be. They long for and love a lot of the same attractions women do. We love attention, compliments, security, commitment, honesty, faithfulness,......
So why wouldn't a man love the same things?

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

Have you ever heard of this German word?

According to Merrium Webster: scha-den-freu-de means a feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing about the troubles of other people.

Basically, one feels enjoyment when others fail. Other people’s FAILURE is a stimulant to these types of people. It’s as though they get a high from it.

The word failure has been running through my mind lately. And you know me…..When something sticks in my head I have to confront it. So today I choose to let my fingers do the talking and research this ugly word called “failure”.

When I see others celebrate another’s failure my immediate reaction is heartbreak. How can someone be so cruel/evil? But as I research I am finding out that this act of cruelness is quite common. Schadenfreude in German means a mixture of joy and evil. It is generally regarded as morally evil. To enjoy other people’s misfortune is diabolical. The joy that is found is one of the worst traits in human nature since it is closely related to cruelty.

A major reason for a person being pleased with the misfortune of another person is that the person's misfortune may somehow benefit that person that is thriving on creating misery; it may, for example, emphasize their superiority. This is mostly found in working relationships where two people share a small space. For example; a common station, or position.  

But hold on. There is good news and bad news about this miserable human condition. The good news, YOU are on the right track if you are doing something high-risk and is your passion. The bad news, there will always be others that would love to see you fail instead of being helpful. If you run across people that are helpful, hold onto them tight and treat them well because they are few and far between in today’s high speed world, the dog-eat-dog society, the sink or swim motto….. and shall I go on? I do believe you know what I’m talking about.

Through my life journey I strongly emphasize “get to know yourself”, know your “station”, know where you are going and know where you want to be in life.

Here is a quote from Tennessee Williams that I love and want to share with you: “A high station in life is earned by the gallantry with which appalling experiences are survived with grace.” Survived with grace? I love Tennessee William’s direction. But what’s more pernicious than that idea is that our insecurity is often heaved upon us by other people. It is thrown at us by the people we surround ourselves with. They try to convince us that we are what we are and we’d better just live that way, because that is what we will always be. For real? Says who? Show me the chapter in the life (my life instructions) instructions on predetermined stations. If you are one that accepts the common external station advice you can expect sub-par outcomes all the time.

I don’t know if the urge to see others fail makes some people feel good, if it’s in their genes, or if it’s the “green-eye” of jealousy but I do know one thing, when the evil-traited one sees you doing something that they never took the time to work towards, they can’t hide the hate. It just comes out like a huge green monster. And their joy in your failure will not make them blink an eye. It will not cause them any kind of pain, pity, or heartache. They will always bask in their glory. Do you really want to give that evil-hearted person the satisfaction? I know I don’t.

Everywhere you look in today’s society there is always going to be someone pointing out what is wrong with you. Your looks don’t measure up, your career is not where it should be, relationships fall apart, money is an issue…..Nothing in your life is the way it is supposed to be, and people are eager to let you know how you have disappointed them.

When you hear this over and over you truly start to believe that you are flawed. You begin to wither inside thinking bad thoughts about yourself. “I am not worthy”. This self-dread can cast the darkest of shadows. Do you ever feel like you fail every day? As hard as you work, do you feel like you get nowhere? And you fight daily to keep your head above water? If you are struggling with these issues, you are truly in a danger zone. The little voice inside your head is repeating over and over, “you are not good enough.” Then you find yourself apologizing for not being good enough:

You’re sorry you can’t do well enough at work – you failed

You’re sorry that you became ill and caused a set-back at work – you failed

You’re sorry that chaos is causing others misery – you failed

Taking on the burdens of others will always make you feel unworthy. “Why can’t I fix it?”, “Why can’t I find a solution to ease your unhappiness?” These kinds of thoughts will wreak havoc on you (I am tired of giving so much of myself). When you internalize so much un-self-worth and self-doubt, your body will absorb it. Your muscles will tense and your insides will become sick. Have you ever noticed that you will usually become ill after a very stressful time? That is your body saying, “STOP! Take a break.” You need to take care of yourself if you want to be any good for someone else. 

So you had a job that didn’t work out, your relationship crashed, your grades were not up to par…..BIG DEAL!! Use all of these as learning experiences. Define the true you and don’t let anyone else’s actions detour your worthiness. If you want, or need things to change it is up to you. Only you, you alone, YOU can make things change. You have the ability to do it. DO IT! 

Never apologize for not being good enough, for struggling in life. You are a person with value who deserves happiness, fulfillment, and true direction. Let your inner spirit soar to great heights knowing that things will be fine. Let the ill-hearted (Schadenfreude) live with their own battles. I am a strong believer in KARMA. What you put out will always come back to you.

Keep life filled with happiness. Be that helpful person that is hard to find. Someone will notice you and hold on tight.

Hugs for always,

Angie 

Love At First Sight

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

Do you believe in it?

Could you live it?

Can you trust it?

"Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away." 

- John Steinbeck, author.

Let me fill you in on what has been going on in my life. 

Totally unbelievable.

But causing emotions that I can't control.

Yeah, the strong independent woman has finally been beaten. Can you believe that?

Do you ever think about your high school crushes? This is where the story begins...... Thirty years ago in high school. 

There was a boy. A very intriguing boy. A boy that caught my attention from a distance. He was such a mystery. He carried himself with pride, and also carried the attitude, "I don't care what people think about me." An attitude that I longed for. So I just sat back and watched him, longed to be like him, and was totally intrigued by him.

He had the look of a rebel, a hellion, a trouble maker. So the truth is, I was kind of scared of him. I continued to keep my distance. But there was a secret place in my heart that screamed, "I would love to be with him!"

  This my friends is the High School Senior, Johnie Clark, Jr.

 

See........INTRIGUING!! A MYSTERY!! A REBEL!!

We both completed high school going our own separate ways, stumbling through relationships, marriages, and loneliness.

We have been connected on Facebook for years, commenting every once in a while on each other's posts. Small talk. Old friends from high school kind of thing.

Now lets fast forward thirty years to the present. Here is my story. This is what I felt with my heart. Through my own eyes and feelings. Love at first sight.

November 3,2013

I drove back north from Columbus to visit my oldest daughter. When I visit with my daughter I try and keep my Facebook shut off. But for some reason on Sunday I opened my Facebook on my phone to find this reply message:

Johnie Clark Jr.

Morning, yes it was nice. I hope you feel good when you get up lol. Don't by shy give me a yell anytime

Angie Walker

I will do just that.

And our conversation turned into a Sunday lunch invite. On my way back to Columbus I stopped by to see an old high school chum to have conversation and reminisce. But this is what really happened:

Arrangements were made for Sunday lunch. I agreed to stop by Johnie's house. And the strangest thing happened on my way there. The closer I got to his house the more butterflies I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. I truly thought I was going to have to pull over and vomit. My heart was racing and I was finding it hard to breathe. Yes, it was that bad! I kept questioning my symptoms. What the hell is wrong with me? I was having flashbacks of watching him from a distance thirty years ago. 

Once I got to Marion I couldn't find Johnie's house. I parked and called his cell. He asked me where I was at, and then he told me to park at the tallest building in Marion and he would walk to meet me. As I was watching in my rear-view mirror I saw a salt and pepper haired man walking toward my car. I knew it was Johnie! He still carried himself with pride and confidence. That high school boy that I remembered so well. I stepped out of my car and this is what happened: We hugged with a quick kiss, and as we came together our hearts exploded. As God as my witness, I heard it! I felt it! And then Johnie said, "Oh my God, you are still the most beautiful girl in the whole entire school!" 

Our date turned into lunch at Carrabba's, dessert at the North Market in Columbus, a container of goat cheese, and a movie (Gravity). I didn't get home until 10 that night. We spent most of the day confessing the feelings we had for each other in high school. Since our first date we have been together every weekend. And sometimes during the week. We live an hour from each other. You drive thirty and I'll drive thirty. We meet mid week for dinner.

Is it possible? 

Love at first sight?

I do believe it is. 

I am experiencing it.

I am feeling it. 

And I am falling.

I am no longer intrigued from a distance.

I have the mystery man in my arms.

The brick walls around my heart and soul have crumbled.

The strong independent woman who thought she was going to die alone has been broken.

Captured!

 This is Johnie Clark, Jr. today.

Along with me in his arms.

The way it should be.

SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST......

    

Remaining Sane

I haven't been here for a while, and this morning I woke up with the urge to get my feelings out onto the computer screen. It always helps me to type what I'm feeling, and it's been way too long overdue.
Let me begin by telling you how much I love Mastin Kipp. If you don't know who he is here is a link to his inspiration that touched me this morning, and made me realize that what I'm facing is a bump in the road. Give Mastin a visit.

I agree with Mastin, we all hit bumps in the road of life. But I am not bouncing high enough as quickly as I would like.

Back in April I was offered a job that was located three hours away from where I was currently living. A living where I had spent my whole entire life from birth to age 44. This job offer meant that I would have to pack up and leave my stability, my life long home, my children, grand children, and a relationship of seven years. I am a strong woman! I CAN do this! And there was no possible way I could turn down the job offer. I spent four years in college to receive a Bachelor Degree in Organizational Supervision and Leadership. The job position offered was for a shift manager. I AM THERE!! Within three days I packed and moved my necessities to a location three hours away. Now you might say, "Three hours away is not far", "You can always drive back to see your family and friends". But my instant life change created a bump in the road for me.
I tried my hardest to convince myself that the opportunity would be fun. I would live on my own for the first time in my life. No children, no relationship, no responsibilities other than my own, and could come and go as I pleased. Fun, right? I did okay for the first few weeks. Got totally involved with my new job (learning kept me content), loved the new experience of the city, walked to the grocery store when I wanted something to eat (a convenience I didn't have in my previous life), and went out exploring. But as time went on I found it very difficult to deal with returning to an empty apartment, not having anyone to talk to, not having any friends, and the hardest one to deal with, sleeping alone.

I began suppressing my emotions and feelings. Stuffing them back into myself to create my own loneliness, my own depression, my own fear. I broke off the relationship of seven years because I didn't think it was fair to drag him into my insecure crazy life. When I noticed the depressing feelings sneaking up on me I then decided to take the weekends and drive back to my life-long home. Stay there for the weekend and that should give me enough energy to get through the work week until another drive back on the weekend came along. My drives back and forth created a bonding friendship with someone that has always been dear to me. Then my work weeks turned into a "missing you" issue and I couldn't wait for that drive back home. I didn't realize what I was doing to myself. I was creating my own misery. My own insanity. My own problems. Which created even more suppressing emotions and feelings. I HAVE TO STOP!!

So today, instead of running, I have decided to make some changes. I am going to try and follow Mastin's system and give up the chase. I am going to live day to day and not rush tomorrow. I am going to breathe, and I even ordered "The Crazy Sexy Diet" that Mastin suggested.

To get the full gist of the message you have visit Mastin.  

Born Again

Okay fingers....here we go again. You are going to be my link from my mind, to the key pad, and onto this computer screen.
I really need to pen my thoughts today because my mind is racing in so many different directions. I need to get all these thoughts into order. Some of you may not like what I'm penning about today, but you can always close this tab and go about your regular daily lives.
I usually attend church on Sundays, just for my own cleansing, and it usually helps me get through the six days ahead. But the sermon on Sunday really made me question my spirituality.
Am I a true believer of God, Jesus, the Christ? Or am I more in tune with the Universe?
That is the question that is causing ruckus in my mind.
As I was doing research on "Born Again" I came across the word Pantheism. Pantheism is a religion old or new, that stresses the magnificence of the universe as revealed by modern science. Pantheism might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths. And a quote from Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot (1994), "Such a religion WILL emerge."
And then as I continued reading, the question, "Are you a Pantheist?" emerged. Of course I had to keep on reading after that question was thrown in my face.

If you answer yes to all these questions, then you might have pantheistic leanings.....

When you look at the night sky or at the images of the Hubble Space Telescope, are you filled with a feeling of awe and wonder at the overwhelming beauty and power of the universe?    Yes


When you are in the midst of nature, in a forest, by the sea, on a mountain peak - do you ever feel a sense of the sacred, like the feeling of being in a vast cathedral?    Yes

Do you believe that humans should be a part of Nature, rather than set above it?    Yes


I am not skeptical of God, I do know that, because there had to be a creator. Correct?

Every evening I step outside when it's just turning dark enough to show the stars and the moon. I feel such an overwhelming peace and my discussions feel so much more fulfilled then during the day. The nighttime universe feels like a temple to me. My spirituality is more free.

So, what does it mean to be BORN AGAIN?

The context of the question comes from the following verses in the gospel of John:

"There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, 'Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.'


Jesus answered and said to him, 'Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is BORN AGAIN, he cannot see the kingdom of God.'


Nicodemus said to Him, 'How can a man be born when his old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?'


Jesus answered, 'Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.


Do not marvel that I said to you, 'YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN.' The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of Spirit.'" (John 3:1-8, NKJV)

See, this is what is so confusing. Jesus speaks of the Universe as far as being born of the water and the Spirit. He also talks about the wind. You can't see the wind, but you can feel it. That is your spirituality. But the spirit and the words BORN AGAIN can mean so many things. There have been so many times in my life where I have felt BORN AGAIN, but not in a religious form. However, in a spiritual form, my own personal feelings of my heart being cleansed. To me being born again can mean change, any change. For example, my current relationship. In the beginning of my relationship I felt like I had a long row to hoe, but things came together in a way that is un-explainable. In this relationship I feel new, I feel with a new heart, I am more loving (and so is he), more caring, and more gentle. This relationship has caused me to forget about my terrible past, and only focus on what is ahead of me, or right in front of my face. The relationship has touched my spirit, my heart, and my emotions.
Another form of being BORN AGAIN in my life is the opportunity of being able to attend college. A change, a new beginning, and creating the path to make things better. This opportunity has touched my spirit, my heart, and my emotions.

The words TO BE BORN AGAIN are very strong, and people interpret those words in different ways. My interpretation of those words, they simply mean to cleanse yourself, cleanse your inner self. To be born again does not mean to reenter your mother's womb. That would be silly. The inner cleanse is to free yourself of troubles, start over, produce a brand new heart. That is what BORN AGAIN means to me.
And if I feel born again by standing in the Universe, breathing, having discussions about direction, listening to the wind, and cleansing my heart, then so be it.

In John 3 there are three births discussed:

1. Born of the flesh (my mother)
2. Born of water (baptized)
3. Born of spirit (MY spirit, MY cleansing, MY imagined wanderlust, MY life direction)

When you are standing in nature (the universe) and come across a gorgeous scene such as this, how do you feel? How does the beauty touch your heart? Is it breathtaking? Do you feel like you are right in the presence of God, the creator himself? Directly in the center of the Universe?
This is my temple, this is my peace, this is my spirit, this is how I cleanse myself, this is how I'm BORN AGAIN.

Thank you for taking the time to read my penning thoughts. And please feel free to comment. Everyone has their own opinion, and those opinions are what make our universe so appealing, so unique, and so inspiring.

Jealousy

Jealousy - We all go through it sometimes in our lives, and we all deal with it sometimes in our lives. Jealousy is a wicked emotion to overcome. It is almost like a disease.

As I was doing research on the subject of jealousy,  almost every article I read was based on jealousy in a relationship. But jealousy goes beyond relationships. The green eye of jealousy can be found between any two people. For instance, a mother and step-mother (that is where the jealousy is found in my life). Oh it's not me that's the jealous one, it's the step-mother. She worries and frets over everything that I do, and then she says nasty things to my children about me because it makes her feel better about herself. But I consider myself the bigger person. I have a control over my emotions and thoughts, and I don't have a low self-esteem issue.  Jealousy is a disease that takes total control of a person's emotions and thoughts.

Just a couple weeks ago I was feeling the pangs of jealousy (in my relationship), but the pangs I was feeling had more to do with insecurity. Which jealousy and insecurity go hand in hand. I don't like myself very well when the insecurity emotion takes me over. I have to do a lot of talking to myself to fix the interrupted emotion of doubt, fear, and insecurity. I have to talk myself right out of it. I call myself "stupid" a lot when I let these foolish emotions take me over. I am not, I totally refuse, will not let it happen; allow jealousy in my life. Me and jealousy do not go well together.

So, how does a person overcome jealousy? Overcoming jealousy is like changing any personal behavior. It all begins with awareness. Which, awareness will allow a person to see that the proposed stories in their mind are not true. When a person gets this clarity under control they no longer react to scenarios that their mind imagines. Yes, jealousy plays on a person's imagination. Jealousy and anger are emotions that causes a person to believe what they imagine. By changing beliefs, a person will change what they imagine. It's kind of like placing positives in a situation that has doubts. Find the good in something bad. Does that make sense?

Trying to change anger and jealousy is like trying to control a car that is skidding on ice. A person's life will improve immensely if they steer clear of the hazard before they get there. The step-mother in my life imagines and assumes that I am a terrible mother and grandmother without gathering facts or understanding of my actions, schedule, or values.

I found this information on the Pathway to Happiness Web site:

The steps to permanently end jealous reactions are: 
1) Recovering personal power so that you can get control of your emotions and refrain from the reactive behavior. 
2) Shift your point of view so that you can step back from the story in your mind. This will give you a gap of time in which to refrain from a jealous or angry reaction and do something else. 
3) Identify the core beliefs that trigger the emotional reaction. 
4) Become aware that the beliefs in your mind are not true. This is different than “knowing” intellectually that the stories are not true. 
5) Develop control over your attention so you can consciously choose what story plays in your mind and what emotions you feel.  

That is some pretty good advise right there.

Throughout my life (more recently) I have gotten a handle on my imagination. I understand that my children and grand children have other family in their lives. Do I let that upset me? NO. Do I create unnecessary stories and issues about what the other family members are doing with my children and grand children? NO. Do I find blame and create scenarios because I don't want my children or grand children with the other family? NO. So, why is this step-mother so dead-set on making me look like a bad mother?

For the last four years I have been attending college. And anyone who has attended college full time knows how much time and dedication that takes. The step-mother assumes that I am a bad mother and grandmother because I don't go to my children and grand children's  school events. Maybe I should hand her my school schedule and have her help me out with ideas on how I can attend school activities?

Believe me, I am facing the feeling of regret when it comes to my children and grandchildren's school activities. What busy mother wouldn't?

And if the wicked step-mother reads this:

My school schedule (during the school months) consisted of four days a week at school....Tues. 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., Thurs. 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., Fri. 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., Sat. 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. And in between I did homework.....  

Does this clear up the imagination a little bit? It's best to gather facts before assuming false information,  and ridiculing someone for things you don't understand.